- 7.
Jason came home later that evening and must
have seen the box in the trash. He banged on
<
our door.
“Ashley! Come out! We need to talk.”
I opened the door.
Jason’s face was like ice.
“Why did you throw away all the stuff I gave
you?”
“What’s it to you?”
I stared at him coldly.
The slap mark was still vivid on my cheek.
Jason hadn’t held back. My cheek was
bruised and swollen, the imprint of his fingers.
clear. It wasn’t fading;
it was getting worse.
Jason’s expression shifted as he stared at the
mark on my face.
After a moment, he said, bewildered, “…How
did it get so bad?”
He reached out to touch my face, but I
stepped back, my expression unchanged.
I rarely got hurt. In the past, whenever I
bumped or scraped myself, I’d run to Jason,
<
crying, wanting him to comfort me.
I wasn’t really afraid of pain. I had a pretty high pain tolerance. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even notice a cut until days later. I just liked
being babied by the person I liked.
And Jason, despite complaining about me
being delicate and dramatic, secretly enjoyed
being needed.
But not anymore.
Jason had never seen me so cold and distant
before. He looked stunned.
“I didn’t mean to, Ashley. You were cursing at
me, and I just got angry…
I cut him off.
“Since you’re here, let’s get this straight.
We’re done. We’re not friends anymore.”
“From now on, you call me by my full name.
Don’t talk to me at school. And don’t ever
come knocking on my door again, like you did
tonight.”
<
I started to close the door.
Jason grabbed my hand, his eyes fixed on
mine, his expression shifting from guilt to
anger and confusion.
“Is this really necessary, Ashley? If you’re
mad because I slapped you, I already
apologized. Isn’t this a bit extreme?”
“Have you thought about what if you regret
this later?”
“I won’t.”
…Why?” he asked, his voice tight with anger.
“Just because of one stupid slap?”
“Yes. Just because of a slap.”
I said it with absolute certainty.
“Fine. If that’s how you want it, then fine.”
Jason let go of my hand, a bitter laugh
escaping his lips, and slammed the door
behind him as he left.
く
- 7.
The next day, Jason and Brianna made a big
show of announcing they were officially
dating.
I wasn’t surprised.
Looking back, there were signs, of course.
When Brianna first transferred, her outgoing
personality made her popular with the guys in
our class.
But she rarely hung out with the girls. Her
reasoning, as she put it, was:
“Ugh, I just prefer hanging out with guys. It’s
so much easier. No drama, no backstabbing.
Girls are so complicated, always playing mind
games. I can’t deal with that.”
“And they’re all so sensitive. You say one
wrong thing and they hold a grudge forever. I
just don’t click with them. Guys are way more
chill.”
<
Because of comments like that, most of the
girls didn’t like her.
Brianna, noticing this, would roll her eyes at
the guys and sigh dramatically.
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have said they’re
complicated. Now I’ve totally offended them.”
“Ugh, they’re probably going to exclude me
from their little cliques now. Whatever, I’m
used to it.”
She basically put us in a no–win situation.
She was the one who didn’t want to hang out
with us, calling us sensitive and complicated.
But when no girls talked to her, she’d accuse
us of isolating her and being cliquey.
I vented to my parents about it when I got
home.
“Honey, I know how you feel. I’ve met people
like that before. The best thing to do is just
ignore them. Don’t let them get to you. And
definitely don’t get too close…”
33
く
Jason, who happened to be at our place,
overheard and frowned.
He wasn’t one to gossip, and he clearly
disapproved.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carter, Ashley, talking about
people behind their backs isn’t very nice.”
My parents and I fell silent, embarrassed.
Later, I found out he’d already formed a close
“friendship” with Brianna.
Brianna was great at English and, being
Jason’s deskmate, often offered to tutor him,
since he struggled with the subject.
That used to be my job. Within two weeks of
Brianna’s arrival, she’d seamlessly taken over.
Brianna also played basketball and got along
well with the guys, many of whom were
Jason’s close friends. Naturally, they spent a
lot of time together.
Jason’s opinion of her changed. She went
from being “that new girl who made fun of
<
me for no reason” to “a cool, outgoing girl
who’s just a little blunt sometimes.”
Jason, who usually avoided close friendships
with girls, quickly embraced Brianna’s
presence.
They’d pass notes during class, laughing out
loud without a care.
After school, he’d give Brianna a ride home
on his bike, joking and messing around with
his friends.
I often felt a pang of jealousy and sadness,
but I told myself they were just friends.
I believed Jason liked me.
Turns out, I was delusional.
“Jason and I are, like, totally a thing. Unlike
some people who use the ‘childhood friend‘
card to cling to someone and basically offer
themselves up for free.” Brianna said,
perched on Jason’s lap, a smug grin on her
face.
<
And then, the pointed remark.
“Oh, and even though I know you girls love to
run and tell on people, I’d really appreciate it
if no one reported us to the teachers for
dating. That’s just, like, so not cool.”
Jason didn’t react.
Some classmates offered congratulations.
Others stole glances at me.
Almost everyone knew Jason and I were
childhood friends and that I had a crush on
him.
I only really talked to Jason in class, and he
used to only talk to me.
My deskmate gave me a worried look. I didn’t
look up, pretending to be absorbed in my
textbook.
The atmosphere was awkward. Jason scoffed
and looked away.
After that, their relationship intensified.
During breaks, Brianna would take off her
<
scrunchie and put it on Jason’s wrist,
playfully ordering him not to take it off.
They continued passing notes under the desk
during class, and Jason would sometimes
burst out laughing.
They’d have lunch together, Brianna stealing
chicken nuggets from his tray as he looked
on indulgently. After school, she’d ride on the
back of his bike, her arms wrapped tightly
around his waist, the picture of a couple in
love.
Despite ten years of history, the initial
discomfort eventually faded. I got used to it.
Just when I thought we wouldn’t interact
anymore, Jason stopped me at the school
gate after school.
“Ashley,” he said, his voice heavy, his
expression a mix of anger and something else,
I couldn’t quite decipher.
“Brianna called in sick today.”
く
He just looked at me.
I didn’t get it. What did that have to do with
me?
“So?”
Jason finally got to the point.
“Did you say something to her?”
I was taken aback. “What could I have
possibly said to her? I never talk to her.”
I wasn’t exactly a chatterbox, and Brianna
was the last person I wanted to interact with.
If she didn’t bother me, I wouldn’t speak to
her all year. What could I possibly have said?
Jason’s eyes narrowed, filled with suspicion.
“She was fine when I walked her home last
night, and now she’s sick. I called her, and
she just kept crying, saying she was sorry and
that you shouldn’t be mad anymore. Tell me
the truth, Ashley. What did you say to her?
Did you hit her?”
“What? Are you insane?”
<
I tried to push past him.
A strong hand gripped my wrist, holding me
back. Jason stared at me, like a predator
eyeing its prey.
“Ashley. I know you’re upset that we’re
dating, but you don’t have to do this.”
“You were the one who said we should
pretend we didn’t know each other. You’re
just jealous now, but…”
He trailed off, then lowered his voice.
“If you just apologize, we can forget about
everything that happened. We can go back to
normal…
There was a desperate edge to his voice, as
if he was eagerly awaiting my response.
I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Are you crazy! Let go of me! Apologize for
what? I told you I didn’t do anything!”
“You guys can date all you want. I’m thrilled
for you. Have ten kids, I don’t care. Just get a
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life! Now let go!”
Jason’s face turned pale. He stared at me in
disbelief, but his grip didn’t loosen.
Just as I was about to struggle free, a hand
landed on Jason’s arm.
“Dude, not cool. Don’t manhandle a girl like
that.”
I looked up to see a guy in a school uniform,
about our age.
“Ethan?” I blurted out.
Ethan was a senior. We’d been on the
school’s mathlete team together for the state
competition.
We hadn’t really talked much. We weren’t
exactly close.
I remembered him because he had a strikingly
handsome face.
What was he doing here?
Ethan followed my gaze and winked at me
mischievously.
く
He tightened his grip on Jason’s arm, and
Jason winced.
I took the opportunity to wrench my hand free
and ran.
