Her Knowledge
Serafine POV
The silence continues and seems to thicken between us. I can barely swallow the tea now, I’m not sure what I expected but it wasn’t this. Helena watches me calmly over the rim of her cup, her expression is patient and calm. My mind though is racing through every possible excuse, every denial I can come up with, but I know they would sound foolish.
I’ve got no idea how she knows, yet somehow I’m not surprised. Helena has always felt different. She’s like the library itself, old, and steady but full of secrets something
that she never seems careless with.
“I–I don’t know what you mean,” I stammer at last, but my voice betrays me instantly. It shakes, and is soft and uncertain.
Helena smile at me faintly. “I’ve lived a very long time, Serafine. I’ve lived long enough to know the signs, there have been only whispers of your kind for generations. I never thought I would meet a Veyrathi Threadborn, but here you are.”
My hand grips the edge of the table tightly. “How do you know that word?” I ask, unable to keep the tremor from my voice. I don’t get it, no one is meant to know. “No one uses that word.”
“Maybe because no one looks in the right places? The old books speak of it,” Helena says before she sets down her cup with a soft clink. “They are books most people stopped reading centuries ago because they are in an old language. The books are ones most alphas and councils destroyed. They feared what they couldn’t understand. Me, however, I kept them. Hidden protected and waiting.”
“For me?” I whisper. Surely not, then again she’s already explained the people in charge of this library are always ones who are like her. So no doubt when she would die someone else would replace her who would also care for the older books.
I kept them for whoever was destined to come.” Her voice softens. “You’re the first, the first confirmed Veyrathi in hundreds of years if not more.”
I swallow hard and force myself to meet her gaze. She knows about this stuff. “I don’t even know what that means.” I admit. I don’t, I’ve got no idea.
Helena studies me for a long moment. Then, I watch as she rises from her chair and crosses the room. She stops in front of a tall locked cabinet behind the desk. It’s one I‘ ve never been given permission to go into. She takes out an iron key from a chain around her neck and unlocks the doors on it.
I stand here, watching as she carefully lifts out a thick, black leather–bound book. It looks so much older than anything else I’ve ever touched. It’s spine is cracked and
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Her Knowledge
faded. I can see the gold filigree has worn away over time as well.
She carries it back and then sets it down gently between us on the table. I stand and look at it.
“This is The Veyrathi Chronicle,” she explains. “It’s actually the most complete record we know of. I’ve only ever shown it to one other person, and they didn’t live long enough to finish reading it.”
My hand lifts and I run my fingers over the surface, feeling the worn leather under my skin. It almost hums faintly under my touch. My throat tightens and I nod. “What does it say?”
Helena reaches forward and turns a few pages slowly. “It says that Veyrathi are not like the rest of us, not fully anyway. They’re tied to something older. It’s something that is wilf and sacred. They were also known as Threadborn because they are weavers of life and bond, not just to a mate, but to the land, the spirits and the guardians.
My breath catches at the word. I lean closer. “Guardians?”
Helena’s eyes flick up to me. “I thought that might get your attention. I could sense something was close by you.”
I nod quickly. “They’ve been following me. They actually helped me to escape the pack I was in. They have been protecting me, I think as they have stopped others from harming me. It’s a Hollowfang Raven and a Silvermane Hound.”
Her brows lift faintly. “Both? You have more than one?”
“Yes.” I run a shaking hand through my hair. “The Raven speaks to me, sometimes. It guides me. But the Hound… “I pause and consider my next words.
“It’s been strange with the Hound. Lately, it won’t leave my side. It waits outside the library far closer than it should be. It walks with me when I go out. It even curls around me in the woods when I sit outside. It doesn’t communicate like the Raven.”
I wait, wondering what she knows about this.
Her expression turns thoughtful and she turns another page. She traces a thin pale finger over an illustration of a Silvermoon Hound. It’s not identical to the creature that has been guarding me.
“Hmm… That would explain it,” she murmurs quietly more to herself than to me.
“Explain what?” Has she found something?
Helena looks at me for a long moment, she’s searching my face as though weighing whether to say the words. “With Silvermane Hounds, they don’t become that closely attached to anyone unless…”
I panic, wondering what is wrong. My heart races and I frown. “Unless what?” I ask.
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Her Knowledge
“Unless they sense something deeper within you.” Her voice drops lower. “They sense life.”
I stare at her blankly. “Life?” What does she mean by that, of course there’s life inside of me, I’m alive.
Helena moves nad reaches across the tabe and covers my hand with hers. “Serafine… they only act this way when a Threadborn is carrying a child.”
What? The air rushes out of my lungs like I’ve been punched. I sit frozen, unable to speak. My pulse is now roaring in my ears, and the words… They make no sense. I try to form a response, but my lips won’t cooperate and move.
How? Me… Pregnant?
I shake my head violently. “No. That’s not possible.” It’s not, it can’t be true.
She watches me, her face staying calm and kind but with an underlying firmness to it. Your body may not have told you yet or shown you signs of this, but the guardians know. They always know which is why the Silvermane Hound is wanting to be close. It‘ s their purpose.”
I step back, pacing the small space between the shelves and the table. This can’t be happening right now. “No. I can’t be, I would know. I would feel it, sense it.”
Her head shakes and her tone softens more. “No necessarily, especially not for one of your kind. You’re not fully like the others. Your bond with your mate, your abilities, even your cycles would be different. It would be slower to show, and harder to predict.”
My body stops and I press a hand against my stomach. A wave of emotion rushes through me, panic and then disbelief begins to crash together. My mind flashes back. Xander’s touch, the heat, the knotting. The ache that wouldn’t fade, and him spending all night during the ritual with me. No, it can’t be, not yet.
Could it?
“The guardians wouldn’t react like this if they weren’t sure,” Helena says quietly. “The Silvermane isn’t protecting you Serafine, not right now. It’s protecting what you carry.”
I stagger slightly, and catch myself against the table. My knees feel so weak right now. “No. I can’t have a child. I can’t raise a child. How am I meant to do this? I can barely protect myself, let alone a baby as well!”
Helena rises and moves taking a few slow steps toward me. She rests one hand on my shoulder trying to steady me. “You’re stronger than you believe. You wouldn’t have survived what you’ve already endured if you weren’t. Veyrathi are chosen for their strength, believe me, you’re not weak.”
I shake my head again, staring at the floor. “But I’m alone. I left him, I have no one anymore.”
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Her Knowledge
“You had to,” she says softly. “You made the right choice for yourself, and right now the right choice for your baby. No one should have the right to treat you the way he did. Do not ever think you need him.”
I bite my lip hard, willing the tears not to fall. “So… Now what?” I ask. “What do I do?”
“First, we confirm,” Helena says, her voice is really calming with the unwavering quality I’ve come to rely on. “There’s an elder healer here, she’s human but trusted. She can also be discreet. I also know that she knows how to handle cases like this. I’ll take you to her tomorrow.”
My head moves, nodding to her, even though I feel like I might collapse under the weight of all this. A baby. Mine… Xander’s. I don’t know whow to process that, or how I
should feel about it either.
Helena gives my arm a gently squeeze of reassurance. “Look, until then, rest. There’s no need to worry about it. Stay close to the library. Let the guardians do what they were born to do, if they need to be closer make them aware they back door will always be open. You’ve come too far to crumble now.”
My body sinks back into the chair at her words. My legs no longer able to hold me up. The Silvermane Hound’s weird obsession with me, the way the Hollowfang Raven is constantly circling above, like it’s always trying to see in and catch a glimps of me… It makes sense now but in a way that terrifies me.
I lay my hand against my stomach, staring down at it as though seeing myself for the first time. Everything has changed now, I know it has and nothing will ever be the
same again.
The sound of the door creaking softly makes me aware that Helena have left me alone
with the book she brought out and my own thoughts. For a long time, I sit here, staring at the dark leather cover of The Veyrathi Chronicle book without really seeing it
Outside the tall window, I catch the faint silhouette of the Hollowfang Raven against the fading sky, circling, watchful and patient like always..
For the first time since I ran, I am not sure what I fear more. I’m not sure if it’s being found by Xander, or the impossible future now growing inside me.
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