Chapter 119: Sebastian
Sebastian
It’s practically impossible to avoid someone in the small confines of the Train, but somehow, Christina manages it for the first few days.
However, after saying goodbye to Benjamin, Daniel, and Mia, there are only five of us left. It doesn’t take a lot of effort on my part to find Christina alone. Without a word, I take her hand and pull her to my room.
“Sebastian…” she sighs, but I ignore her until the door is closed.
Then I turn and press her against the wall, caging her with my hands on either side of her face.
“You don’t get to tell me how I feel, Christina. You don’t get to decide who I love or how much I love them,” I growl.
I was never forceful with Suzanne. I never pushed myself on her. I was always gentle, letting her know that she didn’t have to accept whatever I was asking of or giving to her. But Christina isn’t Suzanne, and I’ve never treated her like she was. So, I take what I want. If she doesn’t want it, she’s strong enough to push me off her.
I grab her hair and slam my lips against hers. I’m not gentle. The kiss is dominant and forceful. I put every bit of torment I’ve been feeling for the past week and a half into the kiss, devouring her mouth and reclaiming it as mine.
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I feel her resistance at first and then the dam breaks. Tears begin streaking down her cheeks as her arms come around me before she greedily begins kissing me in return. I swallow her sobs as she gives herself to me.
I rip her clothes off and turn, pushing her backward toward my bed. She rakes her claws down my shirt, shredding it and pushing it off me, her hands groping me as greedily as mine are with her. She undoes my belt and pushes my pants down. I’ve barely kicked them aside before I lift her. Her legs wrap around me as I change directions and slam her against the wall, bottoming out inside her in one thrust.
“You are mine,” I growl, brutally thrusting into her. She clings to me, still sobbing as her inner walls begin to flutter around me.
“MINE!” I say, finally letting go of the words that I’ve been holding back for weeks.
She throws her head back against the wall as her first orgasm hits her hard. Her fucking body is so tight, her muscles contracting so hard around my cock that it feels like her body is begging me to empty inside her. So I do. But I don’t slow my thrusts, and I stay hard, pushing her to continue her orgasm.
“Sebastian,” she cries, half sob, half cry of pleasure.
I force her to stay on this high until I decide she can come down. I feel desperate to remind her who can bring her this kind of pleasure. Only one person. Only me.
I’ve just let her start to come down when I slide out, push her legs to the ground and spin her around. Kicking her legs apart, I pull her hips to me and slam into her. Almost instantly, I have her coming again.
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Chapter 119: Sebastian
“Mine! Do you hear me, Christina? You. Are. Mine!”
When she doesn’t answer, I grab her by the hair and pull her body up to mine.
“Do. You. Hear. Me?” I growl in her ear, accentuating each word with a hard thrust into her warm, soaked pussy.
“Yes,” she says.
“Good. Then let me show you what I do with what’s mine,” I growl.
I spend the rest of the night making her come, forcing her to stay on her high long after she begs me to let her down, forcing her body up and over again even when she says she can’t take any more. I know I’m punishing her for hurting me, but before I leave this train, I need her to know that she’s mine. It’s like I’m branding myself on her body, so she won’t forget in the week we’re apart.
When I finally let her come down, the sun is rising, and I know I don’t have long before I have to leave the Train. I need to talk to Ryan. I need to let him know my plan and hope that he understands that I need to do this for me.
I hold her quivering body in my arms. Her tears have long since dried up, but the streaks are still clear on her face.
“I love you. Don’t ever question that. Did it ever occur to you that I said Suzanne’s name in my sleep because I love you as much as I loved her? Because I do. You’re not her, but I’m also not the man I was when I met her. I’m different. I need a different kind of woman in my life, Christina. I know you and I have things we need to take care of at home this week. You need to talk to
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Dane, and I need to talk to Ryan. But when we get back on this Train in a week, we’re going to sit down and talk about
everything. We’re going to clear the air you are damn well going. to let me have my say,” I growl.
I know she’s exhausted. I made sure of it, so when she only nods, I leave it at that.
I hold her for a while, then I carry her into the shower, bathing her and washing her hair while she holds on to me to keep from swaying. Neither of us says anything, and when I’m done, I put one of my shirts on her and tuck her into my bed.
I kiss her forehead and sit beside her, stroking her hair until she falls into a deep sleep. When I feel the train slowing, I gather my bags, kiss her one more time, and head out. Jo is getting off at this stop with me and as we say goodbye to Haley and Will, I let them know that Christina is sleeping.
“Let her sleep,” I tell them. Will watches me but doesn’t say anything.
“I’ll see you soon,” I tell him.
“I hope so,” he says.
“Good luck at Tyler’s birthday party,” I tell Haley.
“Thank you, Alpha.”
When I get off the Train, I go to the car that Ryan sent for me, nodding to his warrior.
“Welcome back, Alpha.” He’s an older warrior, someone who was a strong warrior when I was Alpha.
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“Thank you.” For once I don’t say it’s good to be home. Home is now where Christina is and as we pull away from the train station, my eyes stay glued to the train as it pulls away.
One week. One week before I see her again.
Chapter 120: Sebastian
Sebastian
My mind is all over the place when I arrive at Ryan’s pack. But, as always, he’s there waiting for me on the front steps of the packhouse. I feel the familiar wave of pride in my son. He’s such an incredible Alpha. He’s going to be pissed that he not only got knocked out of first place, but down to fourth.
If I wasn’t so torn apart about Christina, I’d be itching to tease him about it.
When I get out of the car; I grab my bag and walk up to my son. His eyes narrow. He obviously doesn’t like whatever he sees on my face.
“Walk with me?” he asks.
I feel my throat tighten and I drop my bag on the porch before. falling into step with my son.
He waits until we’re far enough away from the packhouse to have some privacy before speaking.
“Want to talk about it? Or should I say, do you want to talk about her?”
“How did you get to be so smart?”
“I had the best fucking role model in the world. So, who is she?”
I look at him. “Christina Kneeland.”
He whistles, looking over at me. “You never did do anything by halves, do you? Tell me about her.”
1 sigh and look out over the familiar forest surrounding the pack. lands that I once led.
“I fell in love, Ryan.”
“I take it she’s the one you were pining over before you left last time.”
“I wasn’t pining,” I say but he just raises an eyebrow at me.
“I’ve been developing feelings for her for a while. I asked James to make her my assistant and then I pushed her to take the classes this semester.”
“I imagine as Alpha Dane’s little sister, she did a damn good job.”
“She’s number two on the leaderboard now,” I say proudly.
“Of course she is. She had you coaching her.”
“Nah. It wasn’t me. It was all her.”
“Then why hasn’t she taken the classes before?” he asks.
“She needed to realize that her success didn’t make her brother less. She adores him and I understand why, but she needed to get out of his shadow.”
“And you helped her do that.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“I did. I also asked her to be my assistant in the sex class.”
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He stops and turns to face me. “And how did that work out for you?”
I scrub my hands over my face. “I loved your mother, Ryan. I loved her with everything in me. But what I’ve experienced in the last two and a half months… it was never like that with your mother. I need you to understand that I loved your mother with. my whole heart and soul, and if she were still alive, that would never have changed. But she’s not here and losing her changed me. I have chance to start a new life, Ryan. A life with Christina. I didn’t just fall in love with her. I love her as much as I loved your mother. I didn’t think that would ever be possible, but here I am. I need for you to understand that this isn’t a betrayal of your mother. I’m just a different man now. I need a different kind of woman in my life.”
“Why would I think of it as a betrayal, Dad?”
“She was your mother. She was my soulmate. And now, I’m telling you that I love another woman the same way that I loved her.”
“I can’t imagine ever loving another woman the way I love. Caroline. But I can also never imagine surviving if I lost her.” He looks thoughtful as I wait for his judgemént. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe mom sent her to you?” he asks, finally looking at me.
“What do you mean?”
“We all believe in the Moon Goddess‘ realm, Dad. We don’t have this kind of love and magic in our lives without believing in a higher power. Don’t you think that mom has been watching over you, wanting you to find happiness again? She loved you just as much as you loved her. If the roles were reversed, if you had
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died and she had survived, would you want her to live the rest of her life alone? Or would you have wanted her to find happiness again? I think mom would want you to be happy. I think she would understand that you’re a different person now. She’s gone. She’s not coming back. But that doesn’t mean that you have to live the rest of your days as half a man, Dad. If Christina makes you happy, then take her as a mate.”
I hadn’t considered that my mate might be watching over me. But now that Ryan has said it, I know he’s right. I would never have wanted Suzanne to live a life of loneliness. I loved her enough that I would have wanted her to find happiness, even if it wasn’t with me.
“You know, Christina is closer to your age than mine,” I say.
“Age is just a number, Dad.”
“She wants pups,” I say.
“Is that a problem?” he asks.
“I don’t know, is it?”
“Not for me. My half siblings will be the same age as my pups, but so what? You always wanted a daughter. So, I’ll ask again. Is that a problem?”
“At first, I thought I was too old to do it all over again. But now, with her, I can’t get the image of a little girl with long blond hair running around these pack lands out of my head. I want it so much it hurts.”
“So, make that dream a reality. You deserve to be happy again, Dad. If she makes you happy, then I’m all for it. I still expect to
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see you and I want to finally meet the woman that not only put the fear of the goddess into every Alpha on the planet but is also the woman who stole my father’s heart.”
“I’m pretty sure it was Alpha Dane who put the fear of the goddess into every Alpha on the planet,” I say.
“Either way, she must be very special. Do I need to worry that Alpha Dane is going to kick your ass for touching his sister?”
I smile. “I think Christina might have something to say about. that.”
“Where is she with all of this?” he asks as we turn to head back
to the packhouse.
“Feeling like she’s second best and always will be with me. She told me that she fell in love with me but that she deserves to be number one in someone’s life.”
“You didn’t set her straight on that?”
I think about last night and how I dominated every minute of our time, pushing my love and frustration into her, forcing her to accept every bit of it.
“I’ve given her a lot to think about over the next week,” I say.
He snorts. “I bet you have.” He turns and looks at me. “I’m surprised you’re waiting a week. That’s not like you.”
“I’m waiting for two reasons, well three really. I needed to talk to you, make sure that you and I were good on my decision,” I say honestly.
“I will always be in agreement with whatever is good for you,
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Dad. I hope you know that. What are the other two reasons?”
“She needs to talk to Dane, and I’m hoping that he can help her work through some of the mess in her head. I wasn’t kidding. when I said she adores him. Her adoration borders on hero worship.”
“From everything I’ve heard of the man, it’s warranted.”
“It is. I’m hoping I’ll finally get a chance to meet him. The other. reason I’m not pushing to see her this week is she’s going to one of the young Alphas birthday parties.”
That makes him stop. “She thinks he’s her mate?”
“No, but he and one of the other assistants fell in love and he wanted her there. Christina is going for moral support.”
He smiles. “Like a true Alpha.”
“Exactly. It’s Tyler Cunningham’s birthday.”
“Aw, shit. Tanner’s little brother. How did he do this semester?”
Now that I’ve talked to Ryan about Suzanne, I feel more like teasing my son. So, I smile broadly as I drop the bomb on him.
“He’s number one on the leaderboard.”
He spins to look at me. “Wait, what?”
Then the wheels start turning. “You said Christina is number two. I fell to number three?”
I shake my head slowly, watching as he frowns.
O
“We had three Alphas make it onto the leaderboard thist semester. You, my son, are now number four on the leaderboard.”
“Son of a bitch! Who’s the other one?”
I laugh, wrapping my arm around my son’s shoulders as we walk into his packhouse. I feel lighter now as I tell Ryan about the semester and the three amazing Alphas that bumped three people off the leaderboard.
That night, I find a spot outside to sit by myself as I sip my whiskey. I look up at the moon shining down on our pack lands. decided that Ryan was right. The only way a woman as perfect for me as Christina is could have shown up in my life is if Suzanne sent her to me.
“Thank you, Suzanne,” I whisper. I’m prett
