Chapter 123
Serafine POV
I’m not sure what is happening out there, but I’m comfortable just sitting. Helena is giving me a small, reassuring smile, but the moment I hear a Xander, growl, I tense. He said to stay put, and I’m trying, but I could help. If there are too many, then what?
Closing my eyes, I count, willing him to hurry up because the longer I’m sitting waiting, the more I want to go and help him.
The door opens of the car, and he slides in. My eyes widen instantly.
“Xander,” I whisper in disbelief while staring at the blood that is coating him.
“It’s fine, it’s not my blood,” he says calmly.
“Obviously, but what happened out there?” I ask.
“I’m still the man I was, Serafine, never forget that.”
My eyes widen, and I stare at him, waiting for an explanation.
“I ripped the throat out of one of them who wanted Eryx as a payment for us crossing, I reminded them exactly who I am and why they didn’t refuse me in the first place when I first came here.”
A cold chill runs down my spine. This is the man I was sold to. The one I had heard stories of. The cruel and ruthless Rogue who slaughtered without a thought. He wasn’t the type to give second chances and would rip apart packs to get what he needed.
That’s the Xander I was sold to, the one I married, but not the one I fell in love with. I fell in love with the Xander who is caring, wants to protect people
and tries to save lives, not end them.
“You’re staring at me like I’m a monster. I thought you already knew that was me?” He tilts his head.
“I knew it, but you’re sitting there casual like you’re not covered in another person’s blood, what am I meant to do?”
He laughs. “Remember, I will do anything going forward to protect you and Eryx, and if that means killing every person we come near, I will.”
He says that so calmly it scares even me. “We will stop at the pack on the way, get washed up, sleep and go to Nyvarras Hollow the morning after. It will be safer to go during the day than in the evening.”
Nodding, I don’t reply. He’s right, it’s safer to go during the day, we’ve got no idea what is going to happen at Nyvarras Hollow, there could be things there we have to face. I know he mentioned others won’t step foot in there, so it makes me wonder how bad it really is.
The rest of the journey is done in silence, no one speaks, and I’m not sure if it’s because of where we’re going, the uncertainty of it, or because Xander is just casually sitting there covered in blood.
When we finally arrive at Silverwood Pack, it’s getting late. Helena takes Eryx from me and smiles as we walk in.
“Let me watch him for the night, you should spend time with Xander,” she says.
“It’s fine,” I say, and she touches my hand softly.
“Serafine, tomorrow is going to be a struggle and a lot mentally. You and Xander should have time together, alone.”
My eyes narrow, and she smiles sweetly.
“Why are you talking like you know something?” She is, she’s talking and looking at me like she knows something that I don’t.
“All I’m saying is, a stronger bond, and mating close to whatever you will face, is helpful. It strengthens everything and means he can connect with your
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Chapter 123
magic more easily.”
Sighing, I nod. “Okay, but keep the maid with you as well, for Xander’s sanity, please.”
She chuckles softly. “He will soon trust me; he simply needs time. Now go find him,” she says before turning and leaving, I follow Xander’s scent and find him in a bedroom. He’s clean now and dressed in clothes that aren’t covered in blood.
His eyes come to me, and he looks confused. “Where’s Eryx?”
“With Helena and the maid for the night, apparently,” I explain.
“Okay, well, get dressed, let’s go for a walk,” he says before kissing me.
“Is that wise, as you said, we seem to always get distracted and have sex outside,” I explain.
“We’re coming back, before either of us gets naked,” he explains before kissing my neck. He steps back, and I move to the bag, taking out the lingerie and a dress. I go to the bathroom and shower. Once I’m out and dried, I get dressed.
He’s sat on the bed waiting for me, and the moment I reach him, he holds my hand and guides me outside.
We don’t speak much as we walk through the pack. Silverwood pack is quiet this late, and the lanterns are the only thing to cast soft light along the worn dirt paths.
The homes here are small, nestled closer together than most places. They are built from timber, and the place smells of pine, earth and smoke.
Xander’s hand is warm in mine, and his grip is firm, but not forceful. He leads me slowly toward the edge of the village and I look at the trees that are thin, and the hills that roll under the sky.
We keep walking until there are no lights near us, and only silence left. Just past a crooked wooden fence, he guides me toward a gentle slope. I move to sit and he sits beside me. I can feel the tension in him already. His expression is fine, but then again he’s managed to train himself to ask how he feels, at least with his expression.
His thumb is slowing stroking my knuckles, like he’s trying to keep contract.
“I owe you an apology,” he says finally, his voice low and a little rough. “For before you left.”
Turning, I look at him, but he’s looking ahead, straight at the trees like he’s avoiding seeing me.
I turn my head to look at him. He’s staring out at the trees, not meeting my eyes.
“I was a bastard. Not just once but consistently. I accused you, doubted you, and then I threatened you. I even hurt you worse than I’ve hurt anyone truly. Even when I knew, deep down, that you were telling the truth, I pushed you away. I guess, part of it was panic.”
I stay quiet and listen to him, letting him speak. I can hear the low hum of insects in the grass,
“You know, I told myself that I was doing it to protect the pack. The truth is though, I think I was afraid. Afraid of losing another mate, because I knew I wouldn’t survive that again.
He sighs and finally looks at me. “I was trying to convince myself it was easier to lose you than admit I already loved you. I was trying to convince myself. that if I hurt you, and you hated me, if you died, it wouldn’t hurt me so much.”
My chest tightens.
“I’m trying to change, Serafine,” he says. “I’m not perfect. I’ll probably fuck up again. But I’m trying. For you. For him. For whatever future we have.”
I lean into him slowly, resting my head against his shoulder, and his arm comes around me without hesitation, pulling me close.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I mean that, it’s nice that he is being honest with me finally.
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Chapter 123
We sit in silence for a short while longer, and I let the warmth of his body ground me. I simply stare out at the landscape, at the trees and the rolling hills.
“Whatever happens tomorrow,” he says after a while, his lips brushing the top of my head, “I need you to remember something,”
I tilt my head to look up at him. I don’t like those words, they never end I well.
“I love you,” he says. “Even if everything falls apart. Even if the bond breaks. Even if the magic swallows the world. I love you.”
My throat instantly tightens when I hear his words and I blink fast. I try to breathe through the pressure that is building behind my eyes. The way he says it is so powerful, so beautiful, that I know it’s more than words. It’s more than just something to soothe me.
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
Smiling at me, he leans down and kisses me. It’s soft and slow. Not rushed or hungry like normal. It’s almost like a promise, and I sink into it. I let the weight of the day, the fear, everything I’m worried about slip away in the moment.
This is all there is, his mouth on mine, his hands holding me steady in the chaos that is unfolding. I take strength for his arms that are wrapped around
- me.
We stay like that until the moon is high and the world feels quiet again. Then, hand in hand, we walk back to the house together.
