- 2.
My left hand, holding my bowl, turned white.
My chopsticks shook so much I couldn’t hold
them. I finally put them down.
I don’t know what expression I had on, but my
mom got scared.
<
She pushed her chair back and pulled Lisa
behind her, protecting her, begging me.
“Sarah, Lisa’s your little sister. Don’t do to
her what you did to Bethany!”
My heart felt like it was being squeezed, the
grip getting tighter, making it hard to breathe.
I wouldn’t explain anything about Bethany to
anyone.
Even my own mother didn’t trust me. Why
should I explain it to anyone else?
Lisa was hiding behind my mom, whimpering
quietly.
“I’m so sorry, sis. You were gone and we
thought you were dead… I know you probably
<
hate me, but Chad and I are truly in love.
Please, just let us be happy.”
The pain went from my heart to the tips of
my fingers. My voice was scratchy.
“I haven’t had a relationship with Chad for
two years. You don’t need to ask for my
permission.”
Lisa and Chad looked at each other. Then
Chad spoke up.
“Sarah, I know you’re just saying that, but
Lisa is pregnant with my child. Please, for the
sake of the baby, don’t hurt Lisa.”
I raised my head, staring coldly at the person
in front of me.
く
“Did I say I was going to hurt her?”
They were twisting my words, and I couldn’t
help but get worked up.
My mom, who was just beginning to relax,
tensed up again.
“Sarah, you killed Bethany. It took Lisa two
years to help Chad get over it. He’s made it
clear that he doesn’t hate you anymore. Don’t
repeat the same mistakes, if you hurt Lisa
again, Chad will never forgive you!”
I suddenly felt sorry for Bethany.
She killed herself to make Chad hate me,
thinking that Chad would hate me forever.
And look where that got her. Lisa took just
く
two years and Chad was over it.
I looked at my mom’s face, tense and twisted
with worry.
“So, Mom, I should actually be grateful to
Lisa. Why would I hurt her?”
I pushed my bowl aside and went upstairs.
“I’m done. You guys enjoy your meal.”
Back in my room, I buried myself under the
covers.
I wasn’t surprised that my mother favored
Lisa.
When I was twelve, my parents got divorced
because they couldn’t get along.
<
I stayed with my dad, Lisa stayed with my
mom.
My dad had a business, and he was always
busy.
For a while, this woman took care of me.
She wanted to marry my dad, so she was
super nice to me.
She’d help me skip school, and she’d take me.
to get tattoos behind my dad’s back.
When I was out dating and getting in fights,
she’d pretend to be my mom when the
teachers called.
Because of her, I went totally off the rails. My
mom threatened to disown me.
く
Then I met Chad in high school, and I
changed completely.
He liked good girls, so I went and got my
tattoos removed, I grew my hair long, and I
took all kinds of extra classes.
Later, I got into the same college as him, just
like I wanted.
My parents loved Chad, too.
But no matter how much they liked him, that
didn’t mean they should allow him to get
together with my sister just because I was
gone.
Did they even care how I felt
Oh, yeah, they thought I was dead.
L
How important was the opinion of someone
who is dead?
I don’t know how long I was up there, my
mom came in with a glass of milk.
She was wearing her pajamas. “Mom, are you
sleeping here?”
My mom’s cheeks went red.
“After you disappeared, your dad and I got
back together. If we hadn’t divorced, you
wouldn’t have turned out so warped and
pushed Bethany to suicide. To keep things
right for your sister, we’re trying again.”
I was so jealous of Lisa.
I disappeared, which made it possible for all
<
of this to happen to her.
I just smiled. “That’s good.”
My mom patted my head, the sudden
affection felt so weird.
My mom went to bed.
The whole time, from when I came through
the door
il now, she hadn’t asked me once
about how I had survived in Myanmar.
