“Would you believe me if I said absolutely not?”
He looked down, his nose brushing against my
cheek. “I want to.”
“Liam, I have pride. I have self–respect.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
I thought about it. “It wouldn’t be honest to say
I don’t feel anything at all. It’s been seven
years.”
Liam gently nibbled my ear. “Don’t say it,
ད་ལ
“Let me finish. It’s not exactly…regret, or
longing. It’s something else.” I touched his face. “Leaving him…it doesn’t feel as devastating as I
thought it would. Maybe I stopped loving him a long time ago.”
“Maybe I started preparing for this the moment he started drifting away.”
“I won’t.”
“Won’t what?”
“I won’t drift away. I won’t be distracted. I won’t
make you cry…” He tightened his embrace,
then kissed me. “Chloe, be with me.”
But I didn’t kiss him back. I gently pushed him
away. “Liam, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you saying sorry?” He looked at me,
his eyes tinged with red.
<
“It’s me.” I avoided his gaze. “I don’t want a
relationship.”
“Then what has this been, all this time?” He
gripped my shoulders, his voice shaking.
“Chloe, what am I to you?”
I took a deep breath. “Let’s just say…we both
got what we needed…”
“If you want, we can keep things as they are. If
you meet someone else, you can end it
whenever you want.”
“What kind of arrangement is that? A convenient way to deal with… physical needs?”
“You can see it that way.” I kept my head down, fighting back tears. “Liam, I’m sorry. If this is making you uncomfortable, I’ll leave New York. I swear I won’t bother you again.”
“Chloe.” His eves were red. He let ao of me and
stepped back, a broken smile on his face.
“Chloe, you can’t do this to me.”
“Liam…”
He turned, grabbed his coat, and walked
towards the door. I instinctively took a step
after him, then stopped. He reached the door,
his hand on the knob, then looked back, forcing
a smile. “Sorry, I just…need some time alone.”
I nodded. “Okay. I won’t bother you.”
“Chloe, give me time. I’ll give you an answer.”
He left. I sank onto the couch, my body numb. I
felt a pang of guilt, but I also knew I couldn’t
just jump into another relationship. I was
terrified of repeating the same cycle, of seeing
that look in someone’s eyes again: the initial
passion fading into indifference, then coldness,
then disdain.
<
12:09
3 76
I shouldn’t have led Liam on. If I had known he
liked me, I wouldn’t have invited him up that night.
It was 3 AM. Liam sat in his car outside Chloe’s hotel, smoking. Countless windows glowed in the darkness. He couldn’t pick out hers. But he knew she was there, in the same city, a short elevator ride away. He knew that if he went inside, he could see her in ten minutes. The thought brought a strange mix of comfort and frustration.
He’d spent the last two days trying to make sense of things. Chloe had just ended a long relationship. It was normal for her to be hesitant about jumping into another one. It was normal for her to be wary of men, of relationships, of the whole idea of commitment. He’d been too eager, too pushy. If this casual arrangement made her comfortable, then he could live with
it, even without a label. What was worse than unrequited love? He’d experienced that a year
<
and a half ago, when Chloe and Ethan had
moved in together. That’s when he’d tried to move on, to date other people. It hadn’t worked.
If Chloe hadn’t come to New York, if she hadn’t invited him up that night, he might have spent
the rest of his life alone.
Liam stubbed out his cigarette. His eyes
hardened with resolve. Chloe had come to New
York. She had invited him up. If he let her slip
away now, after fate had brought them
together, he wouldn’t deserve to be happy.
The night before I was supposed to leave New
York, Olivia and I went out for drinks.
“So, what’s up with you and Liam?” Olivia
looked me up and down. “Girl, you’re glowing.
Your skin looks amazing. Liam’s clearly doing
something right.”
“I don’t want to waste his time. I don’t want a
<
relationship. I don’t want to get married.”
“Chloe, why are you punishing yourself for
someone else’s mistakes? It’s not fair to Liam
either. Just because Ethan is a jerk doesn’t
mean all men are.”
“I don’t have a problem with Liam. It’s me. I’m
not over Ethan yet.”
“No, you’re not over Ethan because that dog
treated you like dirt for seven years, and now
you think you don’t deserve love or happiness.
You’re gorgeous, you’re smart, you’re
independent. You deserve to be loved, Chloe.
By a good man. Not wasted on someone like
Ethan. Trust me, he will regret losing you. Now,
call Liam. And cancel your flight. Don’t think I
don’t know you’re about to run.”
I looked at her, tears welling up. “But Olivia,
what if…what if things with Liam end up the
same way?”
<
“They won’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I believe a man who has his act
together, a man who’s been selective about
relationships, isn’t going to be stupid enough to
let a good woman go. You think he’s Ethan?
Now call him. You won’t believe how happy he’ll
be.”
