Chapter 1
“What is wrong with her lately?”
Dad didn’t answer. He just shrugged. That didn’t surprise me, though. Lately, Mom had been on edge and so easy to set off. Every time I tried to figure out why, though, I was given the silent treatment. It wouldn’t have made me so angry if it weren’t for the fact that Mom and I had always been much closer than we had been lately.
We had to be that way. For the longest time, it was just her and I. My biological father had walked out on her when I was still five years old. While he made every child support payment on time over the years, he had made it pretty apparent that he wanted nothing to do with Mom or me. It wasn’t until I was fourteen that Mom met the first man who I ever came to call Dad. Up until that point, it was just her and I against the world.
“Daddy,” I started, changing my voice to the soft girlish one that I used whenever I wanted something from him. “Tell me what’s wrong with Mom, so I can help.”
He was only my stepfather, but, from the moment he had started dating my mother, Rich had been so much more. He had put up with my childish jealousy of my mother’s affection for him and won me over just like he had her. Mom had dated quite a few men over the years, but Rich was the only one who she dated who made me feel important. I wasn’t just my mother’s baggage to him. I was the daughter he had always wanted but never had. I had come to admire him over the years for stepping up the way he did. He had even begun to occupy some of my more obscene fantasies in the last few years.
Those same fantasies were what had prompted me to move out on my own. I hadn’t gone very far of course. My apartment was only a few miles away from the house, and I still spent most of the nights I had off work coming over for dinner. It was after I moved out, though, that things had changed with Mom. I didn’t know if my moving out was what triggered it, but it sure seemed that way. If I had known this would have been the result, I would have never moved out. It undoubtedly would have helped me save more money, even if parading around the house in various stages of undress so that I could feel Daddy’s eyes on my body was inappropriate.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Daddy started. “But your mother isn’t dealing with you being out of the house so well.”
“I thought that might be what it was,” I said. My shoulders dropped.
I couldn’t stand the idea that my being away was hurting her so much.
“It’s not just that,” he said. “There are other things at play. Things that I probably shouldn’t talk about.” His voice had gotten quieter now.
“I mean, I won’t tell,” I said. My voice was low and conspiratorial now as well. “I can keep a secret, Daddy.”
“Your mother and I have been trying for a kid for the past year,” he started. He paused, looking down the hallway nervously to his closed bedroom door. “We just got some test results back last week, and it looks like it’s not something your mom’s going to be able to do.”
Suddenly, so much made sense. Mom’s frustration with me moving out, and her sudden interest in my love life lately. Before storming away from the dinner table with tears in her eyes, she had been not-so-subtly hinting that she wanted a grandchild. My response had been to unkindly tell her to back off. If I had known I would have chosen my words more wisely. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a child, so much as I hadn’t been in a serious relationship ever. Regardless, I had no clue the amount of pain that sentiment might cause her.
“Shit,” I said, earning a glare from Dad that sent a shiver down my spine. He wasn’t a fan of inappropriate language, but I was definitely a fan of the stern look he gave me when I used it. “Can’t you just do the medical procedure where they implant the fertilized egg?” I asked
“We looked into it,” he started. “Not going to pretend like I understand everything the doctor told us, but it won’t work is the short of it.”
“I wish there was something I could do,” I said.
“There isn’t,” he cut me off. He looked down the hallway again at the shut door. “She shouldn’t have acted that way but you shouldn’t have to be burdened with this.”
