My dad’s face turned arim He didn’t say
<
Jake watched me, a smug look on his face as i
blushed. I told him to go put some clothes on.
“So nervous. Anyone would think we were
having an affair.”
“Just get dressed!”
“Want me to be on my best behavior?” he
teased.
“Can you please be nice? I don’t want my dad
worry.”
“Even if I’m nice, your dad’s going to be furious
when he finds out we’ve already…” he said with
a smirk.
“Then what do I do?” I was panicking,
struggling to breathe.
“Give me a reward. I’ll try my best.” He wrapped
I tiptoed and kissed him quickly, my face
burning.
Satisfied, he finally let me go and got dressed.
My dad was silently cooking in the kitchen.
Jake sauntered in, saying he wanted to help. I
was horrified. Help with what?
He gave me a reassuring look and walked into
the kitchen.
I peeked in, pretending to get a bowl. Jake was
washing vegetables for my dad. I went back in,
pretending to get a glass. He was chopping
vegetables. I went in again, pretending to wash fruit. He took it from me, washed, peeled, and
cored it, telling me to go watch TV.
“It’s pungent. Go wait outside,” he ruffled my
hair.
My dad glanced at us. I thought I was imagining
things, but he almost looked… pleased?
During dinner, my dad opened some beers. Jake drank with him. They chatted, the
atmosphere surprisingly harmonious.
“I don’t need you to give her anything, or do anything for us. You’ve chosen to be with her,
so I expect you to give her your time, love her, cherish her, be patient with her, and don’t work too much.” My dad took a sip of his beer. “I’m a bad example.”
Hearing him say “don’t work too much” made
my heart ache. He knew he worked too much.
“You know why Mom left you, so why haven’t
you changed? Is work really more important than family?” I couldn’t help but ask. “You went
to work as usual even after I disappeared. That
was the last straw for Mom.”
<
12:33
332
He stared at me, his eyes welling up. “The class
I was teaching… they had their final exams in a
month. Do you know what that means? That
month determines their future.”
“I couldn’t ruin their lives because of my
personal problems.”
“So, you ruined mine instead?” I burst into
tears.
“I was wrong, Emily.” He started crying too.
Jake sat there, quietly watching us both break
down.
Before leaving, my dad looked at Jake. “As a
man, you have to protect the woman you love.
Don’t hurt her.”
After my dad left, Jake pulled me into his arms.
<
I didn’t understand why he was angry.
“I can’t even cry now? Just kill me.” I gave up.
“You always threaten me with that. Can’t you come up with something new?” He looked
down at me. “Tell me, how do I make you stop crying?”
“Well?”
Suddenly, I was lifted off my feet. He carried me into my bedroom and locked the door.
“You’re a jerk, Jake!” I hit him.
He didn’t fight back. “You’re just figuring that out now?”
20
Later, exhausted, he started asking about my
childhood.
12:33
<
“I just do.” He looked at me intently. “How you grew up, the silly things you did, your teenage
years, your rebellious phase… I want to know everything.”
We talked all night. He listened patiently, his usual harshness gone, replaced by something
akin to gentleness.
Emboldened, I asked about his childhood. He
was reluctant at first, but after much prodding,
he finally relented.
“I was kidnapped when I was three,” he said
calmly, like he was talking about someone else.
I was stunned. I’d never known he was
kidnapped too.
“I don’t know if it was really three. I don’t
remember anything before the people who
raised me. They kept me and a bunch of other
<
kids in a village. We were beaten and cursed at
every day. Almost all the other kids died. I
survived because I was… quick–witted.”
“There was this woman from China. She took
me in. She sold goods during the day, and
herself at night. I was her lookout. She used the
money she earned to teach me how to read and
write, to speak Chinese. She raised me.”
I was speechless.
“Then what?”
“When I was ten, the village head called for her.
She didn’t come back that night.”
“Did she ever come back?”
“No. They found her body in the river a week
later. Her stomach had been cut open. It was
horrific.”
く
He took a deep breath.
The air grew heavy. My mind went blank. My
heart ached, a suffocating pain.
“Still want to hear more?” he asked, looking at
my tear–streaked face.
“No,” I whispered. I wanted to touch his forehead, the way the woman from China must
have comforted him when he was scared. He’d
been just a ten–year–old boy. How did he cope
with watching the only person he cared about
die like that?
“I became one of them. Followed them around.”
“Then I killed the village head and took his
place. I cut out the tongues of every man who’d
ever hurt her.”
He gripped my chin, nipping at my lip. “Am I
scary now?”
Tears streamed down my face.
32
“Jake…” I whispered his name.
I wanted to hug him but didn’t know if I should.
After a while, I asked, “Did you ever look for your family?”
“Yes. After I took over, I went back to the States, found my parents. My mom had a son who looked exactly like me. She was happy. The house was filled with his pictures. I searched everywhere, but I couldn’t find a single picture of myself.”
“I heard we were twins. After I was kidnapped, my name became taboo in that house. Even my twin brother didn’t know I existed. I realized I’d
been forgotten, abandoned. There was no trace of me there. What was the point of going
back?”
His twin brother was Alex.
He said he returned to Myanmar. That was
where he belonged, where the only traces of his
existence remained. He’d paid Alex to borrow
his identity for six months.
He fell asleep. I touched his forehead, unable to
sleep.
That night, I had a dream. Jake was sitting on a
tree stump, carving a small wooden stool.
Beside him was a wooden playground
–
a
swing set, a slide, a climbing frame. And next to
him, a woman was quietly washing baby
clothes. I couldn’t see her face, but my chest
ached.
Jake woke me up, his face pale, his arms
around me. “Why are you crying so hard? Bad
dream?”
I realized I’d been sobbing in my sleep,
<
“I dreamt of you and a wooden playground.” I
remembered fragments of the dream. “Who was it for?”
He froze, his face losing all color. He didn’t answer, so I didn’t ask again.
21
Two days later, Jake said he’d dealt with the men who attacked us and that I should go back to class. He was busy, though I didn’t know with what. Probably preparing to leave, since he’d
set a date for our return to Myanmar. He promised that if I went with him, he wouldn’t hurt anyone I cared about.
I tried to enjoy the remaining time. I visited my mom often, gave her foot massages, rubbed her back, taught my brother nursery rhymes, bought him toys. I visited my dad too, bought him a
neck massager, urged him to quit smoking. His
new wife was kind, always cooking a feast for
when he came home. I bought a pale yellow
<
ལཕ
រ
I also went to see David, to explain everything.
“I loved you once, very much. But I don’t
anymore. And I mean that. Thank you for the
beautiful memories, and thank you for
searching for me for three years. If I caused you any pain, I’m sorry. Take good care of Sarah. She’s insecure. Tell her you love her more
often, and she’ll be happy.”
David sobbed. “I’m sorry, Emily. I didn’t turn off
my phone on purpose that day. She did. I didn’t
know.”
My blood ran cold.
“She came to my room and confessed her
feelings. I was shocked, and I… I didn’t push
her away right away. She took my phone and
turned it off. I’m sorry…”
“She’d hinted at it before, but I didn’t pay
