I listened numbly, like it had nothing to do with me. But my chest ached.
“He helped us bring down the whole operation.
When we found him, he’d been stabbed dozens
of times. He’s in critical condition. The chances
of survival are slim. Do you want to see him?”
I shook my head silently.
My parents stayed with me. Even David tried to
<
That night, the police called. Jake was gone.
I didn’t cry. This was supposed to be a happy
ending, a reunion for my family, but I felt
nothing. I just stared at the wilted baby’s breath
on my windowsill, day after day.
25
I went back to school. Life returned to normal,
or a semblance of it. David went abroad to
study. Sarah, unable to cope with the loss of
her baby, was institutionalized. My brother
started preschool. My dad had a daughter. I got
a scholarship. It was like a weight had been
lifted. I stopped caring about what people said.
Even walking home felt lighter.
One day, I passed a flower shop and stopped,
buying a bouquet of lilies. I carried them home.
My dad was cooking. I put the lilies down and
went to the bathroom. When I came out, the
flowers in the vase had been replaced with my
lilies.
<
“Dad, where’s the baby’s breath?” I asked,
stunned.
“I threw it away,” he said, walking over. “They
were wilted. The lilies are much nicer.”
I stood there for a minute, then ran downstairs.
I stood by the empty dumpster, not knowing
what I was looking for, just feeling a gaping
hole in my chest.
I walked back inside, numb. My dad asked why
I’d gone downstairs. I didn’t answer. He asked
how my exam went. I didn’t answer that either. I
went to my room, staring at the fresh lilies.
The last trace of him in my home, in this world,
was gone. Now, perhaps, only the people in
Myanmar would remember his ruthlessness, his
name a whispered legend of fear.
Good.
<
I lay in bed, not crying, just feeling the sting of
tears I couldn’t shed.
(End)
Epilogue: Jake’s Diary
A year passed. Life was back on track. I applied
to study abroad. Then the police came to my
house, telling me something shocking. Jake and
I had a child.
“One of the men we arrested said Jake had a
child with you.”
I froze, my mind unable to process the
information.
“Where’s the child?” My parents asked in
unison.
“The baby… died. Stillborn, close to full term.”
I gasped, touching the scars on my stomach,
ugly reminders of what I’d endured. I didn’t cry,
but my mom sobbed uncontrollably. My dad
held me, his eyes red.
“It was probably revenge. The baby was already
gone when Jake rescued you. You lost most of
your memory because of the trauma. Jake
made everyone in the village swear to
secrecy…”
The officer continued, but I didn’t hear him. My
world had gone silent. I stared blankly, the
image from my dream flashing through my
mind. Jake squatting down, carving the stool,
the wind blowing, the swing set swaying, leaves
tumbling down the slide, the woman folding tiny
baby clothes. The camera zoomed in, the
woman touching her belly, the joy of impending
motherhood on her face… she looked up, and I
saw myself.
Г
I don’t remember when the police left. My
parents stayed with me.
That night, I lay in bed, my mind empty.
At 3 am, still awake, I opened Facebook and
logged into his account using my birthday.
The account creation date: November 22, 2021.
His profile was empty, no photos. The last post:
“Don’t love anyone else. Just love me. Okay?”
I scrolled aimlessly, then clicked on his private
diary.
September 23, 2021
Baby, it’s Dad. Today’s your due date. I don’t
know what to say, meeting you for the first
time. They say you’re a big boy, seven pounds.
Vou worn
vory notivo
kicking your mam all tho
<
You were very active, kicking your mom all th
time. Your mom loves you very much. She bought you pale yellow clothes. She said she
didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl, but pa
yellow works for both. She’s forgetful. She
forgot you were born today. She cries a lot.
You’re a little man now. You and Dad have to
protect Mom.
November 30, 2021
Baby, Dad came to see you again. I brought yo
a little wooden horse I made, and a rattle from
Mrs. Liu. Bad news: your mom’s been talking
back to me again. Good news: she still doesn’t
remember you. So she didn’t come with me to
see you. It’s better this way. This is our little
secret. Let’s keep it between us, okay? Do you
miss her? Dad promises to trick her into coming
to see you next time.
December 5, 2021
<
Baby, the elders say if I write you a letter eve
year on your birthday, you’ll receive them
wherever you are. But Dad’s not sure if he ca
do that, not sure how long he’ll live. So I’m
writing them in advance. Hope you don’t mind
reading them early. Mom named you Jayden.
She hopes you’ll see the morning sun every da Dad’s going to call you Jay. Jay, today’s your second birthday. You should be walking now,
following Dad everywhere. Dad will take you to
the jungle to catch bugs, show you the biggest
snakes. You’re my son, you’ll be braver than
your mom, right? You won’t be as fussy as her,
refusing to eat anything, too scared to touch
anything. Lilies from the city are so hard to
keep alive. Baby’s breath is better, grows
anywhere. You have to be like the pine trees in
the forest, tall and strong, looking down on
everyone.
