- 13.
My birthday was a week away. My parents
were throwing a party and told me to invite
my classmates.
I hadn’t planned on inviting Jason and
Brianna, but I figured they’d been keeping
their distance lately, so there was no need to
create more drama. I gave everyone an
invitation.
Ethan, naturally, weaseled one out of me too.
On the day of the party, I dressed up and
greeted my guests.
Jason arrived, wearing a suit, Brianna clinging
to his arm, her makeup flawless.
When she saw me, she pressed herself even
closer to Jason.
He remained expressionless.
I didn’t acknowledge them and went to mingle
with the other guests.
く
The party was fun but tiring. I slipped out to
the balcony for some fresh air.
I heard footsteps behind me.
Despite not wanting to admit it, I recognized
his footsteps instantly. We’d known each
other for too long.
He stopped behind me, his voice hoarse.
“Can we talk, Ashley?”
I turned to see Jason’s eyes were red-
rimmed.
“Sure.” My voice was flat. “But if it’s all the
same to you, I’d prefer this to be the last
time.”
His face paled. He gave a self–deprecating
laugh.
“Does it really have to be like this, Ashley?”
“No matter how much I beg, you won’t forgive
me?”
I looked away.
“I really don’t understand. You’ve always liked
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- me. You know I…I like you too. We were so
close…why are you doing this to me?”
He’d finally said it. The first time he’d
admitted he liked me.
But under these circumstances.
“Just because of a slap?”
Just like the first time he’d asked me that
question, I didn’t hesitate.
“Yes. Just because of a slap.”
“That day…I heard you.
Jason hadn’t slapped me simply out of anger.
That day, I’d overheard them.
A few days before the incident, I’d followed
Jason and Brianna after school, feeling
uneasy as I watched him give her a ride home
again.
Jason and his friends took Brianna to a hot
pot restaurant. As they ate, I heard snippets
of their conversation.
“Following him since elementary school…
<
Damn, isn’t that, like, the childhood friend
thing?”
“So she still likes him?”
“Definitely. She only talks to Jason in class.
“Nine years…and he still hasn’t said yes? He
doesn’t like her?”
My heart pounded in my chest.
Jason chuckled. “I mean, I like her…but I
don’t want to date her. She’s too high-
maintenance. Too much drama.”
A chorus of “Whoa!” and “No way!” erupted.
“Dude, are you serious? Aren’t you worried
she’ll stop liking you if you keep stringing her
along?”
“As if. Girls like that, once they’re hooked,
they’re hooked. You can’t shake them off.”
Then, Brianna’s voice, laced with amusement,
cut through the noise.
“Yeah, I totally get girls like her. They love
pink, everything has to be pink. They’re
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delicate, sensitive, and clingy. No matter how
Jason treats her, as long as he’s nice to her
once in a while, she’ll stay obsessed.”
“See? Even though I’m spending so much
time with Jason now, she’s still hanging
around. I bet…”
“Even if he slapped her in public, she’d be
fine as long as he apologized.”
“Seriously? That clueless?”
“Dude, Jason, you should totally try it.”
“Slap her. A girl like that would probably cry
her eyes out…
55
I held my breath.
In the noisy restaurant, Jason’s voice was
crystal clear.
“Why not?”
Jason looked distraught, his hands trembling
slightly.
“No! Ashley, listen, I just…I was just trying to
act tough in front of my friends. I didn’t really
mean it! …”
“Don’t bother denying it, Jason. It’s pathetic.”
I looked at him and said softly, “You always said it was wrong to talk about people behind their backs. Look at you. You’re no better.”
All the color drained from Jason’s face.
I sighed.
It was strange. I’d been so angry and hurt back then, but now I felt nothing, as if I was watching someone else’s life unfold.
“I know you liked me. But I also know you
wavered, right? For a moment, you thought
Brienne was…better. You liked her, liked her
enough to want to impress her and act tough in front of your friends.”
“It’s normal, Jason. You liked me because we
grew up together. I’m pretty, and I was
completely devoted to you. So you had
feelings for me. But ultimately, we weren’t
compatible.”
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“You thought I was pretty, but that didn’t
stop you from thinking I was a spoiled
princess, that my love for pink was childish
and not as “cool” as your macho friends. That’s why you were drawn to someone like Brianna.”
“If it wasn’t Brianna, it would have been someone else, another “cool girl” who’s “not like other girls.” But you shouldn’t have used me to prove yourself.
I scoffed.
“How dare you slap me? Did you forget that no one has ever laid a hand on me? Who do
you think you are, Jason?”
“How dare you?”
Jason looked defeated, his spirit crushed.
I had exposed his deepest, darkest, most selfish desires. He knew it. He couldn’t argue. I stared at him, unflinching.
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Finally, a single tear rolled down his cheek.
“…Ashley…don’t you love me anymore?”
“I never loved you,” I said without hesitation.
…What?” Jason’s lips were white, his eyes
wide with disbelief.
I looked him straight in the eye.
“I liked you. I liked you for a long time, since
elementary school. My feelings didn’t depend
on your actions. They grew stronger every
day. They thrived on my idealized image of
you. They didn’t need reciprocation; they just needed me. But I let them go. A while ago.” “Why?” he whispered, as if in a trance. “Because my cheek still aches whenever I see
your face.‘
My expression remained unchanged.
Finally, all the blood drained from Jason’s
face.
