Chapter 176
HAINA
He’s said it a few times now. Those three little words that carried so much weight they left me breathless. I love you.
Why did he keep saying it so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal? Like It wasn’t carving through the walls I’d spent years building around my heart? “Snap out of it,” I muttered to myself, but the words did nothing to stop the memories from crashing in.
My reflection in the dressing mirror stared back at me, flushed and conflicted. No matter how much I tried to focus on something else, my mind dragged me back to that night. The night I’d been trying–and Calling–not to think about.
Who was Idding?
His kiss still lingered on my lips, his tooch still burned on my skin, and the way he looked at me made me feel like the only woman in the world. For one night, he wasn’t the man who had broken me. He was the man who had loved me once–the man I thought I’d lost forever.
I didn’t regret it. Not one bit.
But the fear… oh, the fear was a cruel mistress. What if the past repeated itself? What if I let him in again, only to have my heart shattered all over again?
What if it doesn’t?” my mind whispered back
The thought stopped me cold.
What if this time was different? What if this time I could actually be happy? How long was I going to punish myself by holding onto the past, when Alex had done nothing but prove that he wanted me?
I abruptly stood up, the chair scraping noisily against the floor. “That’s enough,” I muttered to myself.
The thoughts swirling in my head were relentless, a storm I couldn’t escape. My heart and body screamed for him, craving the warmth of his touch and the sincerity in his voice. I bit my lip, my mind replaying the intensity of his kiss–soft at first, then all–consuming. But the logical part of my brain, the self–aware part, kept shouting at me to run
Run from a man who hadn’t hesitated to break me before.
“Raina?”
Grandma’s voice startled me, and I whipped around to see her standing in the doorway. My face instantly heated
“Are you okay, child?” she asked, stepping inside, her eyes narrowing as she studied me
“I’m okay,” I muttered, but I instinctively brought my hands up to cover my cheeks. The heat emanating from them gave me away, however, and Grandma’s head cocked to the side as a knowing smile played on her lips
“Why you so red?” she teased, folding her arms. “Were you thinking about Alex?”
“What? No!” I exclaimed, my voice shriller than I meant for it to be.
Grandma’s eyebrow arched “Don’t lie to me, Raina. I know what happened between you two,”
I froze, my heart pounding “You..you know?”
She chuckled, clearly enjoying my mortification. “It’s not my fault you two were so loud.”
The words hit me like a freight train, and I covered my face completely, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole. “Oh no. Oh no, no, no.”
Grandma Jet loose with a rich, honest laugh. “Ease up, child. The kids didn’t hear anything, but you need to know your walls ain’t exactly soundproof.”
The expression of horror on my face just made her laugh all the harder,
“Grandma!” I finally was able to gasp, in equal parts embarrassed and indignant. “I don’t believe you—‘
“Oh, hush now,” she said, waving her hand at me “You’re acting like a teenager caught sneaking in after curfew. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I groaned and slumped back into my chair.
Grandma’s laughter died away, and she regarded me with a warm, encouraging look. “Listen, child. I like Alex. He’s a good man, and he’s exactly what you need right now.”
1 opened my mouth to argue, but shel
held un
| up a silencing finger
“I know you’re scared. And you have every right to be after everything you’ve been through. But anyone with eyes can see how much that man loves you And those kids of yours? He adores them.”
1/2
I sighed, the weight of her words settling hewily on my chest. “But what i
“What if he hurts you again?” she finished for me. “What if the past repeats itself?”
1 nodded, unable to look at her.
Grandma placed a tender hand on mine, her voice soft but firm. “Love is always a risk, Raina. But it’s worth taking,”
I hesitated, staring down at my hands as Grandma’s words hung in the air between us. “I’m scared,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “Last time, it broke the, Grandma. I haven’t been the same since. What if it happens again?”
Grandma reached over and placed her hand over mine, her grip firm yet comforting. “You’re not wrong in feel that way, Raina,” she said gently. “But let me tell you something about life, about love–It’s messy. It’s not always what we dream it to be, but sometimes, it’s worth fighting for.”
I looked up at her, unsure what to say. She smiled softly and settled back in her chair.
“You didn’t grow up with us, so you wouldn’t know, but your mother and father’s marriage wasn’t always perfect,” she started out with, sounding very
serious.
“What?” I blinked at her in surprise. I’d always thought of my parents‘ marriage as idyllic–a love story cut tragically short.
Grandma nodded. “Your father had an affair early in their marriage. It was devastating for your mother. She fell into depression and even thought about leaving him for good.”
