She Married My Rival, I Married a Legend. Guess Who’s Crying Now?
My wife, Ashley Miller, ditched me on our
anniversary to go to her old flame’s bachelor
party. Unreal, right?
She got back around 3 AM, and when she
saw me asleep, she took her ripped fishnet
stockings and set our freakin‘ house on fire,
using gasoline. Seriously?!
“If I hadn’t said yes to your proposal, I would
be marrying Chad tomorrow!” she yelled. “I
really regret being with you!”
I could barely breathe, and all I could smell
was men’s cologne on her. That’s when I
knew, she’d been cheating on me for years.
And I was just a total simp, ending up with
absolutely nothing.
I woke up again, and it was the day I was gonna ask Ashley out. This time, I threw away
all the stupid love letters and just focused on
<
becoming a better version of myself.
Ten years later, I’m still a washed–up, nobody
actor, while she and her golden boy, Chad,
are A–list celebs.
On a reality TV show, she keeps putting me
down. But the second she sees the freakin‘
Oscar–winning actress I’m dating climb into
my lap, she loses it.
“Ethan, didn’t you say I was the only woman
you’d ever love, in any lifetime?” she whined.
- 1.
After chilling at home for six months, my wife,
Sarah, gets annoyed that I’m just loafing
around, so she randomly finds me a reality
show gig.
I don’t get it. I’m basically a nobody actor,
why would they want me on a show like that,
except to be a filler?
I was chilling in a corner, trying to stay out of
camera shot, when I saw Ashley and her
L
husband, Chad Johnson.
“The director didn’t say anything about this.
Are they special guests or something?” |
muttered to myself.
Ashley was dressed in a perfect designer
gown, and the freakin‘ rock on her finger was
blinding.
“Ashley and Chad are, like, the perfect couple
in Hollywood. They even do reality TV
together!”
“It’s so great that Chad respects Ashley so
much. I remember there was this one movie
that was kinda racy, but Ashley said it would
help her acting, and Chad was totally cool
with it.”
“Hey, what about that simp who used to
chase Ashley around? The dude even wrote
her songs!”
“Probably saw Chad was about to become a
superstar and chickened out. Plus, Ashley’s
く
not some newbie anymore.”
When they said my name, Ashley’s smile froze
and she looked super uncomfortable. She
quickly recovered, though.
One of the guests didn’t notice and kept
talking.
“He was actually pretty into her, writing all
those love letters and everything.”
“Back then, he was running around trying to
find Ashley jobs, doing all kinds of stuff.”
Ashley saw Chad starting to look pissed, so
she changed the subject.
“I’m married to Chad now, why are you
bringing up old stuff? Besides, I didn’t ask
him to do anything. It was all his own thing.”
Chad’s face went back to normal, and he said.
with a smile, “Everyone makes mistakes when
they’re young. We’re really happy now, so let’s
just leave the past in the past!”
I just rolled my eyes.
Seriously, still talking about stuff from years
ago? If this show airs, my wife is gonna freak
out!
I coughed and said, “Actually, there wasn’t
really anything between her and…”
“Oh my god! What are the chances?! Ethan’s
on this show too!” someone yelled, cutting
me off.
“Isn’t that Ethan? You haven’t said anything,
you wouldn’t have showed up because you
knew Ashley was gonna be on this show,
right? You really can’t let it go, huh? She’s
married, dude.”
“Ashley and Chad are A–listers now, they just
show up to these shows for fun. A washed-
up guy like you should be practical and get as
much camera time as you can. Or you’ll never
get another gig!”
I ignored them. “I really didn’t know they were
coming to this show, or else…”
<
“Or else what?” some young dude near Ashley
asked, narrowing his eyes. “Or else you’d be waiting for Ashley backstage, right? You need to realize there’s a big freakin‘ gap between
you and Ashley. You’re a nobody actor, you
can’t even compare to someone like Chad. You’re just here to watch them be in love.
You don’t have a chance.”
“You like stalking Ashley so much, why are
you doing reality TV? You should be a
paparazzi! Put that dedication to work, and
you’ll be successful, dude!”
They were just trying to be funny for the
camera, so I ignored them and started
counting the lights on the ceiling, feeling like I
was in freakin‘ jail.
I thought about the afternoon filming and it
was a pain in the ass.
