Chapter 3
The next day, I went to the crematorium alone.]]
I watched them place my son into the furnace, and I said goodbye.
The night we enrolled Ethan in elementary school, Jacob was gone.
So Ethan and I sat in the yard, catching a breeze under the stars.
He laid his head in my lap while I stitched the last seams on his new backpack.
“Mom,” he said, “when I start school, I’ll study hard.“]
“When I grow up, I’ll be like Dad and serve the country.”
A few days later, because Jacob wouldn’t take him to the hospital..
Ethan never made it to the first day of school.]]
He was only seven.
He never got to wear the backpack I made him.]
Never got to greet his teacher.
Never got the chance to tell Jacob that he wanted to grow up to be like him.
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, soaking into the backpack fabric.]
The name “Ethan” was hand–stitched across the front, in blue thread.
I clutched it and sobbed like my chest was caving in.
When the urn was handed to me, I barely managed to hold it steady.
I slipped it inside the backpack
Then I headed to his school.
He had a dream
He wanted those schoolbooks.
And I was going to make sure he got them
The principal didn’t even hesitate when I explained.
St.e handed me a fresh set of textbooks.
Tm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Grant
I nodded, numb, and stumbled out of her office.
I didn’t get far before I ran into Jacob.
He was on the playground, sweet–talling a teacher while Lillian leaned against his shoulder.]
He looked surprised when he saw me.
Maybe he’d just remembered Ethan was supposed to be attending the same school
7 thought school starts in two days,” he said.
“Why are you picking up books now?”
Then his eyes lit up as they landed on the books in my arms.
He grabbed me and pulled me over to the teacher.
“Ms. Walker, didn’t you say enrolment was full?
“Well, if one of the enrolled students withdraws, would that upen up as
It hit me then
He wanted to unesroll Ethan.
He warded to hand our son’s spot over to Lillan’s kid
I jerked my arm free and started walking away
Jacob’s face twisted as he grabbed me again–1
and the books spilled to the ground
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I snapped
It was the first time I’d ever raised my voice to him
Jacob froze, stunned by the sight of my swollen, tear stained eyes
You were crying?”
spotr
Chapter 3
“No. Just something in my eye.
He frowned, confused.
Something inside him began to shift-]]
like he sensed the ground moving beneath his feet, but didn’t know why.
He opened his mouth to ask again-
But Lillian slipped her arm around his and smiled.]
“Come on, Jacob. You promised you’d help me with Tyler’s registration.“]
Jacob glanced at her, then back at me.
And just like that, he turned and walked away.
She looked back over her shoulder and smiled at me.
Like she’d won.
But for the first time, I didn’t feel defeated.
Back home, I simoothed out every textbook and wrote Ethan’s name on the inside covers.
I packed them into his backpack
It felt heavy.
Just like my heart.
I touched the cold urn inside and whispered.
“Ethan, Mommy brought your books home.
1
“When we get back, I’ll read to you every day, okay?]
I smiled as the tears poured down, falling like raindrops on my hands.
Just as I was about to zip the backpack shut-
A low voice came from behind me.
“What 3 that in your hands?”
