Especially my mom; her temples had more gray hair, and her brow no longer held its former elegance.
My dad still had his imposing aura, but his back was visibly bent, not as straight as
before.
Ethan’s appearance hadn’t changed much, but he exuded anxiety, like a middle–aged
man about to lose his job.
I stood there waiting for them.
<
I SLUDU LIt wanny Tui LICHI.
They quickly approached, explaining, “Ashley,
we heard you’re going abroad, so we rushed
from the North to see you off.”
They cared; they found out about my
departure from the school.
I said thank you.
They all waved their hands, saying there was
no need.
I said nothing.
The atmosphere became strange.
My mom tentatively took my hand, caring
immensely. “Ashley, it’s different abroad; you need to be more careful…”
Before she finished, I uncomfortably pulled
back my hand.
She immediately froze, her hands grasping at
the air, unable to let go.
My dad tried to lighten the mood. “Ashley,
Dad brought you a hundred thousand dollars;
don’t think it’s too little ”
don’t think it’s too little.”
He handed me a bank card. “If it were a few
years ago, I could have given you ten million, but things are difficult in every industry now;
the competition is fierce, and our family isn’t doing so well…”
He was embarrassed.
Ethan added, “Yes, our family business is
declining; our transformation is being
targeted and hasn’t been successful, we don’t know how long we can last.”
I said “Oh,” and put the bank card back.
“No need, I don’t need money.‘
I had received so many scholarships that I
hadn’t even considered money.
My dad became anxious, asking if I thought it
was too little.
I shook my head without speaking.
It wasn’t too little; to be precise, I didn’t know
what to dislike.
I simply didn’t want it.
I didn’t want anything that belonged to them.
13
Without lingering, I walked towards the departure lounge, without stopping.
My dad and brother followed a couple of
steps before stopping, probably not wanting to be impolite.
My mom didn’t follow, but I heard her
suppressed sobs.
Upon landing abroad, I received a long message from my mom.
It was probably a few thousand words,
starting from when I went missing as a child, to the hardships of bringing me home.
She also sent many voice messages, each
one very emotional.
[Ashley, I’ve finally realized you resent us,
resent us for favoring Jessica, right?]
[But have you considered? Jessica is an
orphan; she only has us. Her repeated
attempts to fake her own death were merely
for attention; deep down, she’s afraid of losing us.]
[We’ve been guiding her, hoping she can
accept you; it takes time; you need to give us time.]
Give you time?
Wasn’t that enough?
Standing at the airport, watching the bustling
crowd, I felt unprecedented loneliness.
But this loneliness disappeared quickly.
Because I wasn’t the Ashley Zhou who craved
love.
This loneliness would only appear
occasionally in my dreams, then be
suppressed.
I replied to my mother, “Block and delete.”
14
Life abroad was much more difficult.
Culture shock, unfamiliar food, and even
misunderstandings from miscommunication. Fortunately, I adapted quickly.
As long as I could study, everything was fine.
I forged ahead, steadily completing my studies, moving towards my goals step by step.
Of course, there were worries, the most annoying being my mom.
Late at night, I would receive messages,
mostly meaningless chatter or about my childhood.
I was truly annoyed and blocked her.
Then, late one night, she called from a new
number.
As soon as I answered, she excitedly
announced, “Ashley, don’t hang up; I finally
finished embroidering the phoenix!”
I was confused. “What phoenix?”
<
“Your pillow,” my mom was so excited she
almost cried. “You don’t know, I’ve been
embroidering the phoenix every day; I’ve wasted dozens of pillowcases.
