Xander POV
The scream that comes out of Serafine isn’t just loud, it’s violent. It echoes around the chamber with so much force that it shakes dust loose from the ceiling. My heart stutters in my chest as I watch her double over and clutch herself. It’s like something important is being torn from within her
She didn’t even scream like this when the drugs were burning her from the inside out, when it was dragging her wolf from her soul and killing it slowly. This isn’t just pain, it’s like grief, only it’s more brutal and raw than anything I’ve seen.
It’s like something inside her is breaking that was never meant to be touched, and I feel so helpless, I move in seconds and drop down beside her. My arms wrap around her, and I pull her tighter against my chest. Holding her, I listen as she screams again, and the sound vibrates through both of us.
“Serafine,” I whisper. I know she can’t hear me, she’s completely caught in it. Whatever this is, she’s stuck in it.
Her hands claw at her chest as if she’s trying to pull something out. It’s like she’s struggling to breathe past whatever has taken hold of her. Her body is shaking against me, and I don’t know what else to do except hold her through whatever this is.
A guard steps closer, his expression pale and uncertain. He looks at her, then toward me, “Is she okay?”
“I have no idea,” I reply.
Killian moves and comes to stand beside me. He stares at her with something like alarm. “Didn’t you say that boy claimed to be her mate when she was younger?”
I grit my teeth. “He did, but she didn’t feel it. There’s never been a bond to her, no connection, only him telling her that he’s her mate.”
Killian watches her closely, the way that she trembles, how her face is twisted in anguish. He turns to look at James. “Are you sure? What if there was something there, but it hadn’t surfaced in her?”
My head shakes. “She felt my bond, so she would have felt his,” I snap.
“Not always, Xander, he was in this place. It’s layered in ancient magic, and everything’s been twisted by it.” Sighing, he lowers himself slightly. “Maybe she didn’t feel it because of the way the threads work? If he was connected to her in some buried way, this could be what happens when that tie breaks.”
I’ve been through it, I’ve lost a mate, I know how it is, and it’s nothing like this. I don’t want to believe it, any of it. I don’t want to believe she’s in this much pain because of him. Because of a boy who once told her they were mates, and then vanished from her life because of her father. But the way she’s reacting, the way she’s barely breathing, or even conscious right now, outside of the pain, it makes something inside of me sink deeper.
Shifting her more carefully against me, I brush her hair from her face and try to help ground her.
She’s cold, her skin damp with sweat and her breathing is rapid and shallow. Her lips begin to part like she’s about to speak but nothing comes out. Her threads are flickering around her body, they’re no longer fluid or graceful but more erratic and panicked. It’s like they’ve been short–circuited.
It’s weird, I’ve never seen them behave like that before, they’re trying to repair themselves, but they don’t know how.
Killian stays kneeling close to me, his brow drawn tight with worry.
“Xander you need to ground her, if this was a bond, whether emotional, magical or deeper, then the servering of it could have sent her and her magic into shock. She’s destabilizing.”
I stare down at her and watch her eyes roll faintly backwards. “She’s not going to die,” I whisper, before repeating thr words mormly. “She’s not.”
“Then do something, Xander. You’re the only one she listens to.”
Pressing my palm against her chest, I breathe in deeply. Her heart is racing beneath my touch, it’s so frantic it’s scary. I need to focus, Killian is right I am the only one who can do this.
1/3
Chapter 150
“Serafine,” I whisper. “Come back, you’re still here, with me.”
I watch her stir slightly, her fingers twitch and her brow furrows. It’s something at least, it means she can hear me.
Pulling her closer to me, I hold her tighter. “You didn’t fail him,” I whisper. Hating that I’m having to resolve this, that she had another mate. “You didn’t fail anyone, he was already lost and the only thing keeping him alive was the magic. You gave him peace, that’s what happens now. You gave him peace.
The sound she lets out is like a broken breath that catches in her throat. I feel it in my own chest, the way it twists and pulls.
Hér voice comes, but it’s so faint I almost miss it. “It burns,
“I know, baby, I know it does,” I whisper against her temple as Remeber that, I’ve got you.”
ner
Her threads pulse again, slower, as if they’re beginning to calm
gently. “But you’re still breathing. You’re still here, and you’re not alone, ever.
against my skin like they’re searching for something to anchor
The frantic movement slows and some strands drift toward my wrist, brushing I let them wrap around my fingers, and the warmth begins to return to them
Her threads pulse once, slowly, as if they’re beginning to calm. The frantic movement slows, and a few strands drift toward my wrist, brushing against my skin like they’re searching for something familiar. I let them wrap around my fingers, feeling the warmth return to them.
“I couldn’t save him, Xander, I couldn’t…” she murmurs.
“Maybe not, but the fact is, you tried,” I tell her. “And that’s more than anyone else could’ve done. He knew that. You saw it yourself, he knew. You tried
and couldn’t.”
She shifts and curls tighter against me, her body is still trembling, and the tears continue to fall. It’s silent and slow to start with, but real at least. I watch as they roll down her cheeks and soak into my shirt as I hold her here on the stone floor, and cradle her.
Killian rises and steps away, trying to give us space, and I hear the guards start to murmur behind us. Someone shfits closer with the healer’s satchel, but no one gets too close. They know what this, they know not to come any closer.
I keep hold of her, not letting her go. I don’t need to yet. When her breathing begins to settle, she pulls back slightly and wipes her face with the back of her hand.
“I felt something the second he died,” she whispers. Her voice is hoarse/“Like something tore from my ribs, I didn’t feel anything before, but I feel that,
the loss.”
“Then maybe it wasn’t a bond in the usual way?” I ask quietly. “Maybe it was deeper, something older? You’re Veyrathi, remember. Maybe it’s the kind of tie that doesn’t show until it’s gone.”
I could be wrong, entirely wrong but I want to reassure her.
She nods slowly. “It wasn’t love, but it was a connection. Now it’s gone and I don’t know what leaves behind.”
When I lost my first mate, I remember that empty feeling, that still, today is there. Nothing can fill it, because it does tear a part of you away when it happens. “What is left behind is you,” I answer. “It leaves you Serafine, still standing and fighting.”
Slowly, she exhales and her eyes meet mine. There’s grield in them, yes, but there’s also strength. She’s wounded and shaken, but she’s not broken, not completely. I need to remember, no matter what he was, mate, or something else, he’s someone she knew. He’s someone who was kind to her when no one else was.
Reaching down, I press my lips to her forehead. “Let me carry the rest of it for a while, just until you can breathe again,” I
She nods against me and finally closes her eyes. That’s all I needed for now.
