erafine POV
He’s different, I’m not sure why or what caused it but he’s no longer looking at me like I’m an enemy. I want to ask why he hates me, or hated me. But I feel like that will make him question me again.
So I do the only thing I can think of, I eat, quietly, and don’t speak. I feel like that’s the safest option for me right now. If I don’t speak unless needed, surely then there’s less chance of him going back to the cruel, cold person he was before?
I remember last night, the softness in his touch, the way he got the wet flannel and cleaned my face and tried to cool it. The way he wrapped his arm around my body and held me against him. I’m also sure I heard him whispering that he was wrong. I’m not sure how long this good mood and soft–natured demeanour will last.
“Today, while you’re with the children, continue to read up on what you will be teaching them. Also, read up on things you need to know, such as heat, and also The Calling as that is coming up.”
The Calling? I’ve heard of it, but I don’t actually know what it is.
He must sense it as he leans forward. “It’s a yearly occurrence and is like the true moon events, only stronger and yearly.” “True moon?” What even is that?
Sighing, he rubs his face. “Read up on it, it’s essential that you know before the dates. Today, focus on those things, on what you don’t know. I can’t have you teaching the children when you don’t know the basics.”
He sounds disappointed, and to be fair, I can’t blame him for that. After eating, he guides me to the school, and the students watch him intently as he looks through the books and hands me some.
He sits me in a corner, at a table, and instructs me to read before walking out. Sighing, I do as he says and open the first book.
The room hums with quiet focus, the small whispers of children as Maureen guides the children through their lesson for today. I stay in the corner where Xander placed me earlier. The heavy book he handed me is cracked open across my lap. I‘ m far enough away that I don’t draw attention, but I can still see everything and listen to Mauren as she teaches the children.
They are currently practicing control exercises, breathing, restraint and emotional stability. Things that I had never been taught growing up, I just had to figure out myself; then again, I’ve never truly felt my wolf.
My fingers tremble as I turn to the chapter titled Cycles and Instincts: Heat and Rut.
I feel anxious but force myself to look at the ink that is scrawled across the page, I read slowly at first, trying to absorb everything.
“The female heat cycle typically starts once full maturity is reached. Some, however, delay it using suppressants. When the body is not held back, Heat surges forward. It is an intense, full–body response to the call of instinct. It’s a biological need that needs to be filled. The female becomes hypersensitive to scent and touch. She’s often driven by a primal hunger that overrides logic.”
The passage describes what happened to me last night, so I read it again and again, to ensure I picked up on everything. My mind replays last night, the pulsing ache, and the wild need. The way that my own mind had fallen into silence as if my wolf had broken free, and clawed to the surface. It was crying out for relief, for him.
Pushing it out of my mind, I continue to read.
“Symptoms for female wolves in Heat include the following. Heightened body temperature, excessive sensitivity to stimuli, loss of appetite, erratic emotions and also intense sexual needs. Some females may experience it as pain, especially if their wolf was silenced or suppressed before. Along with this, your scent will become stronger, alerting males that you’re in heat.”
That makes my body still for a few reasons. First, I thought I was broken and weakening. If anything, it’s proof I’m not weak, and that I’m finally feeling how I’m meant to be. No one in my former pack had explained any of this to me; they just drugged me and caged my wolf as if I were something to be kept under lock and key.
What worries me more is the fact that my scent would no doubt have spread a lot, so just how many wolves here caught it? Turning the page, I begin reading again. “Male counterparts experience Rut. This is often triggered by the proximity of a female in Heat. It can also occur independently during lunar alignments. Rut is often marked by increased aggression, along with territorial urges and an overpowering desire to claim. It’s deeply physical and instinctual. It isn’t emotional. The male’s wolf often pushes forward to the edge of control.”
My mind goes back to last night, to Xander’s eyes. How black they had gone. The way his wolf surged forward, breaking through him. How his hands had begun to shift into paws. My mind goes back to the way he held me down, trembling as if he were caught in a war between restraint and instinct. Yet, he didn’t hurt me. He claimed me in so many ways. None of it was with cruelty, though. My heart thuds quietly in my chest.
1/2
Truths
My eyes go down and I continue to read.
“When Heat and Rut align together at the same time. The bond between wolves, whether fated or not, can ignite. Physicaly, union is near–impossible to avoid and resist. In rare cases, the presence of a destined mate can awaken cycles that had previously been dormant.”
The final line hits me the hardest, and my breath catches. A destined mate can awaken what was dormant. Is that what happened to me, why it came on so quickly and intensely? Was Xander my mate all along?
myself a moment to breathe. I look
The page blurs for a moment, and I blink to refocus. I lower the book slightly and toward the children who are still working. Their small heads are bent, and they are quiet, unaware that their world has already been sharpened by truths some of which I am only just learning. At least these children will know what to expect when they are older.
Mauren looks to me and meets my eyes briefly; she nods once, almost in reassurance. I look back down at the book, my heart racing. Heat, Rut, and bonding. Last night wasn’t just instinct, it was the bond, and real. Whether Xander wants to believe it or not, it was real.
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