Giving Everything
Serafine POV
I’m not sure how long passed before I was so exhausted that I passed out. I know the moon was almost gone, and the feeling in my chest had eased a lot. I thought the Heat was intense, but tonight was.
No matter how much Xander touched me, where, or how it didn’t feel like enough. My wolf still wanted to claim more and take more. Even after my body was exhausted and I could barely move, she was stdragging herself closer to him, wanting more.
The knot is still in me, every time I shift in my sleep, I feel it, along with Xander’s body pressed into mine.
I shouldn’t have given in; I didn’t want to. My wolf made me, and the moon made me. Now, though, I have to go back to pushing him out. What he did was uncalled for, cruel, and wrong, so he can’t just expect me to let him touch me going forward.
It’s nice though, my wolf is calm, and while I’m drifting in and out of sleep, there’s a low humn surrounding me. It’s a feeling I‘ ve never had and it isn’t me, it’s like there’s something around me humming.
Xander’s arms tighten on me more, and I shift, pulling against the knot. It has his wolf snarling and pushing deeper, and I’m sure this is too long. I feel like I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep for hours, and the knot is still there.
Eventually, the tiredness wins, and I don’t keep waking slightly, I just sleep.
When I wake, I’m in a bed, and I know it’s not mine, it’s Xanders. Which means in his mind, we’re fine, and I have accepted him; I’ve not. Moving slowly, I groan from the soreness in my body. My wolf, though, is buzzing. She’s so much stronger that the pain and loss of grip on her have gone.
She’s stronger than before, stronger than she’s ever been, so maybe last night was needed? I move across the room and look for clothes. As I pull open a door, I notice his clothes. I grab a shirt and turn before stopping.
There, on the side is a picture of a woman. I lean closer to get a better luck but I’ve no idea who it is. In front of it is a set of wedding bands. Was he married before? If he was, where is she?
No one has mentioned him having another mate or being married previously.
Pushing it to the back of my mind, I walk to the shower and step into the water. I try to rush, purely because I want to get back to my room. Away from Xander’s and his assumptions I’ve forgiven him.
Once clean, I dry and put on a shirt. Quickly stepping out of the room, I move down the halls, and my mind goes to the book and how different things are here. I get so lost in thinking about everything that I pay no attention to where I’m going.
I turn and try to figure out which way I’ve gone. I’m lost; I know I am. As I walk more, I look around and open doors, but nothing is like where I sleep.
Opening another door, I step in and stop instantly. Xander is standing there, and Garrick and two others are also there.
“I got lost,” I whisper, and Xander’s eyes widen.
“Why are you naked?”
“I… I’m not,” I whisper. I watch the men turn, and Xander moves quickly, placing his jacket around me and fastening it. ” What are you doing?”
“The shirt is see–through,” he growls, and pulls me against him. “We’ll continue the discussion later,” he says before guiding me out of the room.
“Where are we going?”
His head lowers slightly so he can look at me. “Getting you dressed, then you’re eating. You need to eat after last night.”
He’s tense; something about him is tense. I don’t want to care. I try to tell myself it doesn’t matter, but it does. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
“We’ll talk while you eat,” he explains and gestures forward. My room!
I walk in and get dressed quickly, and when I step out, he’s still waiting for me. I don’t say anything; I just follow him into the dining room, and someone brings me some food. Sitting here, I eat and wait for him to talk.
“Last night, how did you feel?” He looks at me, and I shrug. “I need to know Serafine, I need to understand things. How did you feel?”
Successfully unlocked!
I consider it for a moment before talking. “I felt your pleasure it was burning me almost, and my wolf wasn’t happy about it. I ended up outside before I could notice what was happening.”
“No, I mean after that, when you got to the clearing.”
“Like my wolf wanted something, like she was craving it.”
1/2
Giving Everything
He leans forward more. “To whom? When that man came near, did your wolf react to him? While we were together, did your wolf want to be with someone else?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking,” I reply, tensing up. Whatever you think I’ve done this time, I’ve not. I know you won’t care or listen anyway; why would you?”
“No, Serafine,” he says quickly before sighing. Tonight was different for me. I need to know if your wolf was only drawn to me or was she craving someone else.”
My mind goes back to last night. Even when that man walked over to me, I didn’t fe pulled to him, not in the way I did Xander. “My wolf wanted you. Yes, she was happy when the guy came over, but as soon as she sensed you and saw you, that’s all that mattered. At no point was there an urge to be with another person.”
Is that an issue? I’ve no idea if it’s okay or not.
“Why are you asking this?”
“Because that’s not normal!” His head shakes, and I feel like he’s angry.
“Maybe it is.” I’m not sure why I say this; I just feel like I need to.
“The past ones, I’ve joined my wolf, wanted what it wanted. It was always different people, all night. Last night it was you, even before you came. I tried, but my wolf wasn’t interested.”
Shrugging slightly, I try to think of why. “Maybe it’s because you claimed me?” That could be why, right?
“No, that’s not it,” he snaps.
“How would you know? This could be different because we’re mates, and your wolf knows it is.”
He rubs his face in frustration. “Last night wasn’t about mates. It’s an event where your wolf wants more than it’s allowed. It’s a night, it’s unrestricted and is allowed to do anything it wants with whoever.”
“But how do you know that didn’t change because you claimed me?”
“Because I’ve had a mate before you. While she wasn’t alive through our first Calling, the bond was still there, and it was like every other year, only last night was different.”
“So you think I did something?” I look at him.
His head shakes slowly. “No, but I also don’t know why it’s different. The Calling is a night when our wolves are free to mate with whoever they want. To go back to that part of them. No one has ever mated with their mate during The Calling, unless they were inside, hidden from the moon.”
I want to say he can’t know for sure, no one ever has, but I feel that would cause an argument, so I don’t. I’m not sure what he wants me to say or what he wants me to do. It’s not like I have the power to do anything.
“Well, I’m sorry that I somehow changed The Calling for you and made it less fun.” The words escape before I can stop them, but that’s how I feel. He seems angry that he couldn’t do what he always does.
I feel he hates me for holding him back when he could have been there with other women all night instead of me.
“Do you really think that’s the problem right now and what I’m worried about?” He leans forward, and I don’t say anything; I just sit quietly. “No, I’m worried because that’s not how it should be. I’ve got no answers for why or any way of figuring it out, as there are no records of it ever happening before, ever.”
His words have me pausing and thinking. Maybe it’s something I should be worried about if it’s really that rare?
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